“To have found You and still be looking for You,
It’s the soul’s ‘paradox of love.’
You fill my cup, I lift it up for more.
I won’t stop now that I’m free.
I’ll be chasing You like You chase me.”
~ Beautiful Sound by the Newsboys
These lyrics have circled back into my life and heart over and over for the better part of two decades. You can find them written out in my prayer journal or scribbled in the margins of books or Bible studies as the melody happily gets stuck in my head once again, too.
Memories rush back to my mind of moments in my life where the realizations hit me afresh as if for the first time:
God has been chasing me down with His love. The only reason I’m seeking Him now is because He is the One who put the desire in my heart in the first place. I want to keep pursuing Him like He pursues me. I never want to lose the wonder of this grace.
“To have found God and still to pursue Him is a paradox of love.”
I’m sure I had read that quote somewhere before and knew the Newsboys had referenced A. W. Tozer in their song, but I had forgotten about it until I finally read his book, The Pursuit of God, for school over the last week or so.
(I can already tell one of the good things about going to school will be having the motivation to actually read books I’ve always heard about but never got around to reading for myself!)
The Pursuit of God is one I feel like God perfectly timed for me in this season of my life and one I will need to revisit at least every year as well.
Tozer’s premise is that we often settle for so much less than what God has for us, content to have a more basic, academic knowledge of God rather than seeking to know Him more personally. He asks,
“Why do we consent to abide all our days just outside the Holy of Holies and never enter at all to look upon God?”
He also asserts, “God wills that we should push on into His presence and live our whole life there... It is more than a doctrine to be held; it is a life to be enjoyed every moment of every day.”
Truly I long to live more deeply in this reality day by day as well. I want to fix my eyes on Jesus, exalt Him over every detail and concern of my life, and rest in His meekness, free from pride and every bit of pretense. I’m grateful for how Tozer puts words to these concepts to penetrate my heart anew.
I also appreciate the way he concludes each chapter with a prayer that fuels my own petitions before the Lord, too. He cuts quickly to the heart of the matter…
“Father, I want to know [You], but my coward heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding…”
Can anyone besides me relate? Too often I cling to what I think I need when instead I can find true freedom and joy in Christ through surrender and letting go.
My heart echoes this prayer from Tozer as well:
“Lord, teach me to listen… Let me hear [You] speaking in my heart. Let me get used to the sound of [Your] voice, that its tones may be familiar when the sounds of earth die away and the only sound will be the music of [Your] speaking voice.”
Oh what a beautiful sound that will be indeed. In the meantime, I want to keep chasing Him as He chases me. Until my very last breath…
** Note: I exchanged “thee” and “thy” from Tozer’s wording for “You” and “Your” to fit our more common and current use of language.
“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.”
~ Matthew 13:44 (NIV)
I’d love for you to join the conversation as well! What comes to your mind when you think of pursuing God and His pursuit of you? Are there any books, songs, or scriptures that especially encourage you in these areas? Or do you have any other treasures in mind you’d like to share? Feel free to leave a comment or send me a message anytime.
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